Seeing how many times this page is hit it seems folks would like to know a little something about me, beyond what they find in my writing.
Allow me to introduce myself, without actually letting you know who I am. I am a middle aged woman in the Southern California inland area. Single since 2011, no children, living a comfortable and happy life with my three dogs. I am quite content being single, I have no aspirations of finding a soulmate to spend the rest of my limited days with. I have given the best years of my life to men who did not appreciate what I gave them, so I feel I have much lost time to make up for. Call me selfish, I want to make the best of these years by satisfying my own wants and desires.
The past ten years of my life were a hellish struggle. I contracted Lyme disease along with several co-infections in mid-2007. Since I am genetically susceptible this immediately triggered severe rheumatoid arthritis. The diseases and RA induced septic inflammation which literally ate the cartilage in all of my joints and even into the bone in some areas. The pain experienced during this process, along with the neuralgias caused by the diseases was immeasurable, indescribable. In three years time my knees went from perfectly fine to being the worst the knee specialist had seen, and had to be replaced. Since then I have had to have surgeries to also replace my right shoulder, fuse the left foot and replace the left hip. I still need several additional joints replaced but I am holding off as long as I can. The six year battle has been won against the diseases and the RA is under control now. But the extensive systemic damage has already been done. I now have the life expectancy of a German Shepherd.
I came out of this a changed person. Previously I had been very physically active; building barns, remodeling rooms in my house, off-roading, restoring vehicles, boating, living life to its fullest. I was a voracious reader, self-taught in many skills. A technical analyst for a software company that could troubleshoot even the toughest situations. This had all changed, I was no longer that person. For obvious reasons my physical activities have practically ceased entirely. Severe cognitive effects have left me unable to focus long enough to read a book any more. The psychology of accepting that I was permanently disabled was profound, as well as coming to grips with my shortened life expectancy.
I had fought this battle alone; the husband I had was a taker not a giver and when I could no longer take care of him as he was accustomed to, and with additional life issues straining the marriage he left. It was actually a relief. It was one less thing I had to deal with in my already heavily burdened life. I was able to give more focus to my health battle.
As a result I am now trying to mold the new me. It is an evolving metamorphosis. I seek new interests to provide the excitement that I experienced previously with physical activities. This has required me to dig deep into my psyche and be quite open-minded to new adventures. Sex is a perfect solution; it provides ample excitement and it is something that I physically can still do. I do other things as well. I do various activities with my dogs, projects around the house, socializing with friends, exploring the new area I live in, etc. I keep myself busy, and I enjoy my new life.