Dom’s just don’t get it. We trust them implicitly, as the relationship dictates, and as such we want/need to believe what they tell us, the promises they make. Then when they break those promises they don’t understand why we get upset.
Submissives need to be maintained, we need the attention of our Master on a regular basis. Regardless of how independent we are, when we are a submissive to a Dominant that dynamic requires constant work. As a submissive we rely on our Dominant to give us direction, because we have given ourselves to them, allowed them to control us, in some cases love them. The relationship creates need – and I never understand why Dom’s are so surprised when their submissives become “needy and clingy” – that is the core of the dynamic!
We had had this discussion before, that with the infrequent times we were together and the lack of communication at certain times that it was difficult, nigh impossible to feel owned. My needs were not being met; my needs were simple: time with Him, attention from Him. He acquiesced, and we agreed to “dial back a bit”, to put the D/s relationship on the back burner and instead just get together when our schedules allowed and enjoy each other. Perhaps coincidentally, His schedule seemed to open up after that and we were together twice in one week. Then shorty after that things fell apart when I discovered that He was married.
When later negotiations were made for me to become His submissive mistress, promises were made. He was very much anticipating having me as His submissive, to control me and have me do His bidding. Knowing what I needed to sustain that dynamic He promised me that my needs would be met.
Things started out very nicely; plenty of very arousing communication, being together on a weekly basis. There was even a brief period where I was treated with communication late into the evening; she must have been out of town. But she apparently came home on the weekend because communication abruptly stopped, and when it resumed on Monday He was not His usual horny self; obviously He had gotten laid over the weekend. Needless to say He didn’t arrange time for me that week, He didn’t need me. Communication was back to normal business hours again. No problem, I understood the situation so it was easier to deal with mentally, physically I was going mad with desire to be with Him. Two weeks between sessions together was agonizing. It’s not about the sex, I can get that anywhere. It’s about what He gives me that no one else can, fulfillment of my desire to be with Him.
When finally we were together again, our meeting was one of significance; He was collering me that day. A momentous event in the life of a submissive. It was a very special time together that day, strong emotions abounded, sex was sweet, tender and highly erotic. And right after that, that very day, communication came to nearly a screeching halt. One message after He left, that was it for the day, even though we finished earlier than normal and there was plenty of ‘business hours’ left. One message. It perplexed me, but I have to be understanding of His schedule. Yet, when I didn’t receive my usual morning greeting from Him the next day I became concerned. Combine that with a bit of sub drop and you can imagine what was going on in my head – the demons were dancing, voices were screaming. He has been attentive about staying in contact with me during sub drop to make sure that I’m okay, this was very unusual. He finally contacted me later in the day, letting me know He has been very busy. We had a brief conversation and then He was gone again. This pattern continued for several days, very brief communications, not even conversations at times, just messages sent randomly. It was driving me mad! I wanted His attention, I needed Him, and He wasn’t making plans for us to be together again, He was just not there for me. And He had not given me any indication as to why the sudden lack of communication, other than He “was busy”. With what? For how long? I didn’t know.
He was not meeting my needs as He had promised to do. I am His owned, collared submissive and He has neglected me, leaving me to only wonder what is going on. So I had the natural response in this situation and had a melt down on Him. Of course He had no idea why I was so upset, after all He was letting me know He was thinking about me by sending me the occasional message. They don’t get it, the Doms. They create this needy little beast and then are aghast when we blow up from lack of attention. Well, He didn’t like it, go figure. He did provide me with an explanation of what was keeping Him busy, and that did help. At least now I can be comforted in knowing the reason for the neglect, it does make it easier to deal with. So I will just try to keep Him out of my mind and continue on with life, until such time that He summons me again. Then I start all over.